Fall in love with men

Unlike women: THIS is how men actually fall in love!

Anyone who has just been separated and sees how quickly the ex has a new wife at the start has certainly already thought about the fact that men somehow fall in love differently than we women. Faster and more willing to compromise, one might think in one's initial frustration. But is that so? How do men fall in love?

The 4 phases of falling in love

In fact, men fall in love a little differently than we women do. The American couples therapist John Gray believes that men usually go through the following four phases when they let a new woman into their lives:

Phase 1: Physical attraction

First and foremost is the first impression and thus the external appearance. Physical attraction is simply an important first factor for men, piquing their interest and making the potential partner stand out from the crowd of other women. So from the men's point of view, love at first sight is not necessarily that unlikely. In this phase, men feel physically attracted to their counterparts.

Phase 2: emotions

In this phase, emotions are added to the first stimuli. Men now develop feelings for their new acquaintance. To speak of love would be premature, because there is still phase 3.

Phase 3: personality check

In this phase, men explore the overall package, i.e. the character and personality of the potential dream woman. He gets to know her better and more intensively, recognizes what makes her tick, what she likes and what exactly she is looking for in a relationship. Is she loyal, loving, humorous? Is the chemistry right? All of this comes into play now and is decisive for whether it continues or not.

(A little tip by the way: Most men want their dream woman to be self-confident, humor and authenticity.)

Phase 4: Get involved in a partnership

In the final phase, the man falls in love and is ready for a partnership with his dream woman. The relationship to one another becomes more binding and stronger. He is convinced that it will fit. Men are serious now and ready to get involved in a relationship.

Different order than for women

Interestingly, the order in which women fall in love is different from that of men. For them, phase 1 is first of all about the personality and character of the man. Only then do women allow emotions. Physical attraction (at least that's how psychological studies see it, especially that of the American couples therapist John Gray) follows in phase 3, before a woman then gets involved in a relationship in phase 4.

So do men fall in love faster?

What can we conclude from this? Well, on the one hand, men are much more visual, which is why they tend to love (or attract) at first sight. You can be blown away by a woman from now on. So they fall in love a little faster than the woman who first does a character analysis. However, this has no effect on the intensity of feelings in a relationship. Because if a man is totally in love with his partner, then of course it is just as intimate as from the woman's side.

How does falling in love express itself in a man?

Of course, something like that can hardly be said in general. After all, every man is made differently. But there are a couple of quite common signs of being in love. It is a clear sign, for example, when he is constantly looking for physical contact - and we don't mean that he wants to go straight into the box with the woman of his choice, but rather small touches, such as stroking the arm, holding the hand or her brush a strand from the face. Just that feeling that he can't keep his hands off her when he sits across from her.

In addition, men in love want to see their loved ones as often as possible and spend time with her. In return, even hobbies and friends are ignored. And: He forgives her more than others for her weaknesses and mistakes, is milder in judgment (an advantage of rose-colored glasses!). And one more thing: men in love are so wonderfully attentive that later, when you are with them and this attention wears off, you rave about it for a long time.

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