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When the anniversary of death comes

The anniversary of the death of a loved one is a particularly difficult day. Mourners can prepare for the high emotional burden by consciously looking forward to the day of remembrance and making plans in advance. Design the day of death in the way that is most bearable for you.

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The first day of death

As Date of death is not just the day on which a person dies. The anniversary of this sad event is also known as the day of death. Many bereaved relatives celebrate this day as a day of remembrance for their deceased. Personal rituals help them to come to terms with the grief and to express their continued love for the deceased.

Why is the anniversary so hard?

For other people, this is just a day like any other. For the bereaved, on the other hand, the first day of death becomes a tough test, because it shows them how far they have come on their way through the grief and how well - or badly - they have come to terms with their loss so far.

The painful memories return long before that. The mourners' thoughts revolve around what they did exactly a year ago and how it made them feel. Similar to first birthday, wedding anniversary, and Christmas without the deceased, the day of death painfully reminds the mourners of what they have lost.

Celebrate the first anniversary of death

For some people, looking back on the first anniversary doesn't hurt that much anymore. For others, the pain of the death of a loved one is still fresh and they struggle with their loss every day. Mourners cannot ignore this day. But you can prepare for it and consciously shape it so that it is more bearable. There are several ways to do this.

Celebrate the anniversary of death together

If you don't want to be alone on the first day of your death, you can invite others to hang out with you. Take the opportunity to celebrate the life of your loved one with your family, friends and neighbors. For example, go to the cemetery together, decorate the grave, light a candle or let balloons rise. You can then go out to eat together and share memories.

Celebrate the anniversary of death in silence

If you'd rather celebrate Memorial Day in silence, you can invite a good friend over to your home, talk to each other and look at photos together. Perhaps you will play the deceased's favorite song or cook his or her favorite dish.

Some people prefer to be all alone on the day of their death. In any case, treat yourself to something special, eat something delicious or take a long bath. What is good for the body is also good for the soul. You need cuddles especially urgently on this day.

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Customs on the days of death

Long before the days of death were personally designed, they were celebrated in public or in the community. Some of these customs have survived in our culture to this day. The purpose of the memorial rituals is to call to mind the deceased and to do mourning work together. Other customs have a religious background.

Funeral masses

In the Catholic Church, a soul ministry is read for the deceased on the day of death. It is a funeral mass or a memorial service. Prayers of the believers are supposed to blot out the sins of the deceased and redeem his soul from purgatory.

Remembrance of the dead in the cemetery

The cemetery has always been an important place in remembrance of the dead. On certain memorial days in November, but also on the birthday and the anniversary of the death of the deceased, the graves are decorated with flower arrangements and other grave decorations. The bereaved set up grave candles and light candles. On the day of death, some people also leave letters on the graves of their deceased.


An advertisement in the daily newspaper is the classic way of informing the public about the death of a relative. But also on the first, second or tenth anniversary of death, some bereaved relatives place obituary notices. They remember their loss, express their continued sadness and love for the deceased and they show that they have not forgotten the loved one.

Condolence and condolences on the day of death

Often good friends want to express their sympathy again to the bereaved on the first anniversary of their death. However, it is not customary to express your condolences again or even to write a memorial card. Even well-intentioned mourning messages don't help much on Memorial Day.

If you want to stand by those who grieve in the difficult time around the first anniversary of their death, there are other ways to help them.

  • To be there: Approach the mourners. Offer to spend time with them.
  • Offer help: Specific questions of the mourners: What can I do for you?
  • Show compassion: Ask: How are you? How do you feel?

This is a great way to show the bereaved that you have not forgotten their loss and grief, and that you can see their pain. But also accept it if your offers are rejected. Some people prefer to mourn alone on the day of their death.

Plan your own funeral

Preventive care makes life easier for the people you love. Arrange your own funeral now and live with the good feeling that you have already taken care of everything.

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