What are some secrets about concerts
Secrets keep a relationship fresh and make the partner interesting. Sometimes they are also necessary in order not to hurt the other. But some things have to be said openly, because a partnership also means responding to one another.
To stay fresh and maintain tension, a relationship needs secrets. If you know every concern of the other, at some point “the air is out”. “Love ceases to be amused when there are no more secrets. Everyone also needs space for themselves without always having to give the other an account of what they are doing, ”says Mag. Winfried Pabst, head of the Institute for Family Counseling and Psychotherapy, psychotherapist and theologian. A personal diary, a private savings account or simply a drawer that is only intended for you - these are things that should be allowed in a relationship. Especially in long relationships, the feeling can arise that you already know everything about your partner, and can even assess their behavior or reactions. Here Pabst advises: “Think about where you differ and deliberately talk about it in detail. Tell your partner something new and show them that they don't know everything about you. "
But not all secrets are relational. If a partner is doing badly and has worries, the partner should know. "In a relationship you can also demand something - regular meetings with friends, for example." Friendships are often an issue in relationships - but contact with others is particularly important and can be exciting for a relationship. If you find out that your partner is hiding something, talk about it. In sexuality in particular, there is often something unspoken. “Trusting relationships can endure talking about things that are outside of the norm. When it comes to sexuality, respect and openness are particularly important, ”explains Pabst. If I find it difficult to express a certain passion, it can help to talk to friends about it and get advice from them first. But it is also important to talk about limits - in a relationship you can't have everything, compromises have to be made - giving and taking equally.
Sometimes the present and future are influenced by the past. When it comes to things that affect the partnership - an illegitimate child, for example, affects the finances - this should be discussed openly. However, if I could hurt my partner with part of my past, it is better to keep this secret to yourself. "So it can sometimes be better not to address a past affair if it would only hurt my partner unnecessarily," advises Mag. Pabst. But you have to have already completed it yourself.
On the one hand, a relationship needs secrets so that everyone has certain freedom and the relationship remains interesting. On the other hand, a relationship can only tolerate secrets to a certain extent - because open communication about the concerns and needs of the partner is particularly important.
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