What wedding guests shouldn't invite

Who shouldn't be invited to a wedding or party

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Every bridal couple and every birthday child faces this question in the course of the planning: who do I invite and who not?


From Moritz Bechtold
Published on 07/24/2017



Do I have to invite my grand cousin? If I invite my best friend, should I invite his brother too? Aunt Inge really just gets on our nerves; can I unload it? Do my work colleagues expect an invitation? I can't invite the whole football club over ...

Not everyone can come

There is no general answer to all of these questions; they are all individual cases. Nevertheless, I would like to give a few tips here: What is common, what is legitimate, what should be observed, good practices.

The budget and the location limit the number of guests

At the beginning of the planning you should set a budget. This budget gives - as soon as you know the costs per person of the chosen location - an initial framework for the number of guests. The rooms can also limit the number of guests. Based on this number, it must now be considered who to invite.

The relatives

What now follows is my personal opinion: While you can choose your circle of friends yourself, that doesn't apply to your relatives. Of course, siblings, parents, godparents and close relatives should be invited, that is clear. It is different with relatives you don't have much to do with or you just don't like. A guilty conscience is especially out of place with the latter. After all, the wedding should be a celebration according to your ideas.

Childhood friends

Often you lose contact with old friends after school, university or because someone moves away. Which of these are you now inviting? That should be decided by the gut. Who is really important / dear to you? Who should witness this beautiful celebration? Who does it mean a lot to you that they contribute to your party? Who do you keep in regular contact with, even if you rarely see each other in person? And who do you talk to about more than just the weather and the job?

The work colleagues and the sports club

These groups can be treated very similarly. They only differ in that you see some 5 days 8 hours a week, the others "only" 3 hours a week. In principle, I would recommend inviting those with whom you spend time privately in addition to club life and everyday work. You don't need to feel guilty about not inviting the others.

But I have one more tip for both groups: There are definitely colleagues whom you would like to invite, even though you don't have much to do with them privately, but you just get on well with them. A good idea is not to invite them to the party until after dinner for around 9:30 p.m. There is sure to be room for one or two other guests on the dance floor.

Party mice and steep climbers

Do you have them in your circle of friends? The ones who become the tractor when it comes to partying? Great, invite them! A handful of guests who can celebrate well and have a good atmosphere at the party afterwards certainly can't hurt. I think you should even prefer these to chatty work colleagues if dance and music are particularly important to you.

Who better not to invite

And of course there are also those who shouldn't be invited. The motives for this are varied: The friend who does not know when to reduce alcohol consumption. The friend who doesn't allow you anything. The aunt who is super bourgeois and with whom you have never got along. And everyone who secretly hopes that they don't have time.

It is very important: this is your celebration. So you decide who receives an invitation and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone.

By the way, it is also legitimate to write a kind of waiting list and not to invite everyone immediately. If there are vacancies, others move up and receive an invitation.

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